Kitty Syndrome
by dazzley
Summary: Takao wakes up late and gets distracted by a shop filled with kitties. Drinking a strange tea brings strange results, and one particular Bladebreaker finds that he really likes them. Slight TakaoKai.


The morning sun rises on the horizon and Kai opens his eyes slowly. He's sprawled across his bed with his sheets hugging his chest. To his right, his alarm clock is buzzing and shaking, just like it does every morning at this time. He wants to reach out and knock it to the floor but he knows that he's going to have to get up anyway (and that knocking it to the floor would solve absolutely nothing). So he just sits up and presses the button that will silence the thing. Like always. But he has this feeling in his gut. Like something is going to happen today.

Ah well. He shakes it off and starts to get ready.

Somewhere else, Takao is sleeping right on through his alarm-clock buzzing. His natural instinct is to flail his arm out to destroy the source that is piercing his sleep. So he reaches out and grabs the Alarm clock. Right on schedule, he flings it out the window (all while sleeping!) and it almost hits the old man who jogs past his house. Just like he does every morning.

The old man curses at Takao's window and tosses the alarm clock at his front door as he jogs by, leaving a scratch on the door. There are several hundred scratches on that door. Grandpa had considered buying a new door and replacing it, but then he figured that doing such a thing would be a total waste of time because it wasn't like this routine was going to end soon.

Maybe when Takao leaves for Collage the house will finally look nice. Grandpa sips his coffee as he hears Takao thumping around upstairs while he shouts, "I'm so late! How could I have over-slept _again_!?" Everywhere you look in the Kinomiya household is something of Takao's. Clothes hang over railings and chairs, shoes tossed in every corner, drawings pinned to the refrigerator…

Grandpa can only hope for a nice house once the kid moves out. He takes a bite of his toast as Takao stumbles down the stairs, "So laaaate!" "Should have woken up with the tweet tweet of the birdies, little dude!" Grandpa says, "They're a-twirpin' and a-tackin' with the rise of the suuuun. You wouldn't be slipping up tracks if you had listened to their tunes!"

"Really! Sometimes it's like you speak another language, Grandpa," Takao says as he pulls on his sneakers. Grandpa rolls his eyes and munches on his toast some more, but doesn't say anything else.

Takao runs out of his house, and on the way to Max's house, he passes a pet-shop. Even though he's late enough as it is he can't help but to go inside the shop. Inside there doesn't seem to be anyone working the floor, but there are tons of cats. Cats and kittens.

Kai could probably spend a whole week in this shop, Takao thinks as walks on through. The kittens mewl and make other adorable noises. The whole shop reeks of catnip and catfood and just plain _cat._ Takao pokes his finger into some cages to play around with some of the kittens, and they respond by trying to bite his fingers with their tiny little teeth and paw at him with their tiny little paws.

"A-Awww," Takao grins as he plays with the kittens, "You're all so tiny and cute." "Ah, the young Chihuahua finds himself doing a tango across the moon when he runs slow of gasoline!" says a voice. Takao looks around wildly, and when he doesn't see anyone, he looks at the kittens. "Did one of you…"

"Look beneath your shoelaces and you'll find what you seek!" says the voice again. Takao looks down only to see a midget man wearing cat ears made out of pipe-cleaners. And he's holding a plastic cup with what smells like _beer_. "Who're you? You remind me of someone…" The man holds up his free hand, "Ah! I am… Lao! Certainly _not_ Tao."

Takao stares at him for a moment, with a suspicious look on his face, but then he grins, "Wow! Nice to meet you, Lao! Do you own this shop? I don't think I've ever been in here before!"

The short old man laughs, "You who have not seen everything wishes that there were monkeys around to show you the way!" Takao resists the urge to roll his eyes. What's with the old guys in his neighborhood and the inability to speak normally? But thanks to grandpa Takao has a much higher tolerance for these weirdoes than most.

Okay, that is a lie. Takao has no tolerance for these weirdoes.

"What? I don't know what you're saying!" Takao says, "Speak _Japanese_, please." Lao just takes another sip of his beer and tup tup tups into the back of the shop. Takao pokes one of the fat kittens (it mewls angrily at him) and then follows Lao into the back of the shop where the catnip and food is stacked up and piled.

"Uh, sorry?" Takao says, "I didn't mean to. Offend you?" Like hell. He wasn't sorry, because the old guy was weird, but he might as well try and save face just in case he ever wants to come back here again. Lao pops up behind Takao, "Aaaah, so you see the error of the hippopotamus and the giraffe?"

Takao jumps and almost falls back into a pile of kitty litter. "AAAH!! Don't do that! That was pretty creepy, you know. Where—what? I thought you were in front of me..?" Lao simply smiles, "Oho? Do you wish to partake in some of my delicious tea? Is that what you have come here for? You did not strike the lion before the bell in the house of Zeus!"

Takao rubs the back of his neck; he's getting kind of freaked out. "Uh… tea. Yeah. Sure. Aheheh. Then I have to get going, okay?" "Yes, yes. Lao knows what you want. Boys these days! Coming into my shop younger and younger, wishing for my tea." Takao sighs and sits on one of the metal chairs that is in the back of the shop.

The sooner he drinks this tea, the sooner he can leave. He's only staying for the tea because he didn't have any breakfast this morning and he's thirsty as anything. It must be from the kitty litter floating around in the air. The kittens mewl and paw at their toys, and Takao watches them with a silly little grin on his face. He kind of wants a kitten, but he would forget to wash it and feed it and probably wouldn't remember to change it's litter box.

Lao comes back with a cup of tea in his tiny hands; the beer totally drained and left behind in the back somewhere. Who gets drunk so early in the morning, Takao wonders, or has he been going since last night? Ah, it doesn't matter. Lao shoves the cup into Takao's hands. It's cold.

"Uh… it's… kind of cold," Takao says as Lao stares at him, waiting for him to down the concoction. Lao raises a brow, "Yes, yes it is. Makes for better digestion! It'll go through you in a day. A day is long enough." Takao resists the urge to fling the cup in Lao's face and run to Max's house. But he _did_ ask for it and that would be really rude. The old guy might even stalk him or something! He wouldn't put it past him.

So Takao downs the thick, cold tea with a wince and as quickly as he possibly can. It's like ice going down. It scratches against his neck like it has chunks of glass and razors mixed in there somewhere. Lao watches him like he's waiting for something to happen. Like waiting for an alien baby to burst out of Takao's spleen.

"Good, yes?" Lao asks with a happy drunk smile, "It'll bring happiness, I'm sure!" Now Takao throws the cup at him, "Okay thanks, well I have to go now. Somewhere that isn't here because here is a strange place and _have a nice day_."

He bursts out of the shop before Lao can get in another word otherwise. Great, he's an hour late to Max's house. When he finally gets there, everyone else is there. Hiromi is in the kitchen mixing some kind of lunch together (probably something really really spicy) and Max and Daichi are playing some third person shooter videogame.

From Daichi's screams, it seems like Max is winning. Kai is sitting on the couch looking out the window, and Rei is watching Max and Daichi play the game. They all look up when Takao bursts into the room. And they keep on looking.

Even Kai seems like he can't stop staring.

"What is it, guys? I know I was late and all, but you don't have to stare at me like I've got three heads!" Takao rolls his eyes and kicks his shoes off. They still don't say anything. Hiromi is staring at him from the kitchen with huge, wide eyes, "Takao…"

She's the first one to speak. "Whaaat, nyron?" he asks with a huff, "Sorry, okay?" Wait, what was that noise he had made at the end of his sentence? Wasn't that the typical noise a cat made? Maybe he had spent a little too much time in that catshop.

"… Uh. I didn't know you were into cosplaying, Takao," Rei finally says as he blushes a little bit, "It's. Pretty… realistic." "Cosplay?" Takao asks, "What are you talking about, Rei?" Rei seems at a loss, so Hiromi steps in, "Uuuuh. Did your Grandpa play a joke on you? U-Uh…"

"What are you guys talking about?" Takao asks, "And why do you guys keep staring at me!? Am I having a bad hair day? Gee, or is it that I'm so good-looking?" Hiromi puts down the spoon she was holding and walks over to Takao, and reaches above his head.

He doesn't know what she's reaching for, but suddenly he feels a sharp pain on his head as Hiromi yanks her arm back. "O-OUCH, NYRON," Takao gasps, "That hurts! What are you doing!?" Hiromi snaps her hand back and steps back, "It's….real." "_What_?" Takao asks, "What is real!?"

She ignores his question, "And your teeth… oh my God, Takao. Is that a tail? You're so… so… so _cute_." Now everyone is upon him, everyone but Kai.

"Takao you have _kitty_ _ears_!"

"Oh my god he's so cuddly and cute now. Can he stay his way!?"

"Look at this tail its long and AAAH, IT MOVED."

"Does this hurt? Does this tickle?"

Takao is in fits from laughter. Everyone (minus Kai) has been tickling him and petting his head, and while he still has no idea why, he's purring. … Wait, he's purring? He sits up from off the floor and paws at his head, "W...WHAT?"

The Chief perks up, "… Eheheh, Takao… It seems as though you've. Uhm. Turned into a cat…boy." Takao stares at them all, and then finally turns to Rei. "This is your fault, isn't it!? I told you that I swallowed some catnip when I went to your house!!!"

"We don't know that!" Rei retorts (a blush still on his face) "It could have been Brooklyn! You know he can do freaky things with his mind when he's bored!" Everyone nods in agreement. Even though they haven't seen Brooklyn in a while, they all came to the conclusion that he would have weird fetishes when it came to Takao. And that it was the only thing that even made _sense_ at this point in time.

Hiromi pulls off Takao's cap and rubs his newly found kitten ears. He purrs from deep within his throat and slams his head against her shoulder, rubbing his forehead on her sweater in a very cat-like manner. He doesn't even notice Kai watching his every movement from the couch.

They all take turns playing with Takao and rubbing him. He makes strange noises when he's being pet, sometimes he purrs and sometimes he mewls, and he even full-out meows. Well, he only did that once, when Daichi pulled on his tail. His _swishy_ tail.

Finally Hiromi decrees that they've abused poor kitty Takao enough and that they should leave him alone. So they all go back to what they were doing and Takao sits down on the couch next to Kai. "What's up Kai, nryon?" he asks with a tiny lisp, because of the teeth.

Kai stares at the top of Takao's head. One of Takao's kitty ears twitch before they both flatten against the boy's hair. His tail curls around his waist, "Uh. Do you want to touch them…?" Kai just shrugs his shoulders and looks away.

They all spend the rest of the day together, and then Max's dad asks the boys if they want to have a sleepover. No one brought any clothes, but that doesn't matter, there were probably still some around from the _last_ sleepover. Daichi swears that he lost a pair of boxers in Max's huge basement, how, they don't know. They don't really _want_ to know.

Hiromi never stays for the sleepovers. She doubts that her parents would let her if she asked, being in a basement with six _boys_ and all. None of them has the heart to tell her that they aren't really interested in her like that. Well, Takao tried once, but Max had covered his mouth with his hand.

Kai didn't bother to stay around for the last one, but this time he (surprisingly) agrees. Finally! They had made him promise that he would join in their sleepovers once in his life. So they all head down into the basement, and Max's dad throws down an endless amount of pillows and blankets. Takao crawls through the blankets, pretending to be a ninja.

"I bet you guys can't find me," he says, "I'm lost in the blankets!" Rei and Max laugh, "We know where you are." Takao pouts, "Really? Where, then?"

"Below the blue blanket with the stars," the Chief says. Takao pokes his head up, his kitty eats twitching, "How'd you guys know?" "Your tail was standing straight up!" Max responds and they all laugh. Daichi stomps around in the blankets, squishing them down, and almost crushes the Chief to death.

They fall asleep around twelve o'clock at night. They are only fourteen year old boys, you know. For them that is a huge feat. Daichi is spread out across three blankets somehow, Rei and Max are sleeping sprawled over each other, the Chief fell asleep in an arm chair, and Takao is curled up on a blanket in one of the corners. They're pretty spread out, because Max's basement is kind of huge.

No, really. Did I mention how huge it is?

Only Kai isn't asleep. He's sitting next to Takao, watching him sleep, his hand out-stretched slightly toward Takao's head. One of Takao's kitty ears twitches while he sleeps, and Kai stretches forward a little more. His fingers brush against one gently and it twitches in retaliation.

He actually smiles. It's a very, very tiny smile. But it's a smile none-the-less. He presses his index finger against the kitty ear and strokes it, lightly, and Takao smiles in his slumber. His tail twitches and moves so that the tip is almost touching Kai's leg. Kai's gaze drifts down to the silky tail, and his other hand reaches out.

He brushes his fingers against the tail lightly as well and it curls a little bit. His smile grows a little more (but it's till very very tiny). Takao yawns a little bit in his sleep and stretches out his arms. Actually, he stretches them out a little too far. And ends up hugging Kai's waist like its some kind of pillow. That's what he must think, anyway.

Kai stiffens and considers slipping out of Takao's grasp… but he just can't resist those kitty attributes.

He takes this time to press the tip of his index finger against the tiny little fang protruding from Takao's upper lip. Takao purrs in his sleep and rubs his face against Kai's chest.

Kai wonders briefly how long this will last.

Takao wakes up the next morning hugging a very warm, squishy pillow. Very nice and squishy. He must be the first one up, because there isn't any movement in the room. He groggily sits up and looks at his pillow.

It's Kai.

He resists the urge to scream and falls back onto the blankets behind him. He reaches to the top of his head. There's nothing there. The cat ears are gone, and it seems like the tail is gone too.

He stretches his arms and closes his eyes. "Maybe it was just an allergic reaction!"

**A/N: **This is a very silly fic for a very silly person. You can all blame Chibi_Zia for this one. It was fun to write, though, and I hope it amuses whoever decides to read it! \o\


End file.
